yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
