He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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