He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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