Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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