I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to stick my p in your. b.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
