I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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