I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
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