Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize