Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
