I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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