Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
