I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
40s are totally the cure
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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