Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
