I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
