So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
