This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
