no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize