Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
