i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
