She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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