I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
