I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
