well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There r osticjed everywhere
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
