Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
