I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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