so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
