I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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