I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
