I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
