i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
