and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
