Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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