OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
