so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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