I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
