Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
