can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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