My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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