I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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