Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
