if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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