craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
