I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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