he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
