I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
