think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
