end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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