I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard