Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water

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  (914): so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water http://tfl.nu/wymr
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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  (303): I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants. http://tfl.nu/0mqu
  Replies (10) Good night (538) Bad night (3447) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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  (206): sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before http://tfl.nu/9maa
  Replies (84) Good night (971) Bad night (3667) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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  (314): Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal. http://tfl.nu/asgk
  Replies (34) Good night (1210) Bad night (2055) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5219) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1184) Bad night (8493) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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  (207): I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/g4gg
  Replies (35) Good night (2565) Bad night (3552) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

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  (832): Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares http://tfl.nu/x7b2
  Replies (22) Good night (6467) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.

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  (586): I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/zb2m
  Replies (1) Good night (1937) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2049) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

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  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (2741) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.

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  (860): They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm. http://tfl.nu/gqaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1630) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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  (937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9
  Replies (22) Good night (1344) Bad night (1812) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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  (334): Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex? http://tfl.nu/rvvc
  Replies (23) Good night (1491) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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  (971): I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/ssq4
  Replies (4) Good night (183) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt

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