Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"