you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!