he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
