chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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