glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
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oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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