He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
