Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize