will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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