If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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