what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
