school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
