yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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