just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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