He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
