5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
