Whod you bang
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
