I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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