We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
